Parenting is tough, no doubt! Raising a new human being, only having the thought gives a chill in the spine. Parenting is one of the basics of whole civilization as the legacies and knowledge passes through generation and further in timeline it becomes history or lets call it civilization. Without parenting civilization cannot exist, as "civilization" can be understood to be the development of knowledge in the mean time which leads to the development of the tradition, culture, society and the list goes on.
What's the catch?
The issue here is not parenting but its something most parents can relate with. We can be sure that most of the parents are wondering why their children are not living up to their expectation.Why there is always a gap or lets say dissatisfaction between the parents and children regarding the expectation and reality. When ever this issue is in the spotlight, every parents can relate with it and will take them to a deep thought process. The story likewise from other side too, every children have the same issue tagging along. But, for this lets analyze the parent's worldview.
One thing before going deep, all the parents need to carve : Every individual is different.
Living one's dream
Every parent has an unsung song which he/she is very eager to sing but due to the stack of responsibilities or many other variables, those desires left unattended. This brings dissatisfaction and unsettled mindset. Later same suppressed desires comes to surface in the form of expectations that shifts the two sides further; Parents and children. The values of the parents deep roots the upbringing and dominants the parenting process. Those values and desires will be steering the process rather than actual parenting.
Parenting
Parenting is very important regarding the overall development of any child as it affect every aspect of a child whether it is mental, physical, socio-emotional etc. Therefore, understanding the core concept of parenting is very essential. If we go for the literal meaning of parenting, it refers to the rearing of a child or children, particularly care, love and guidance provided by his/her parent. Additionally, the new International Webster’s dictionary defines parenting as the act or process of functioning as parents and of raising children. It refers to the skill or activity of looking after children as a parent. The process is very tedious and challenging as it involves tremendous effort and dedication.
Lets Listen
Amidst one's unattended desires every parents should try to understand his/her child as every child is unique. Each of them has his/her own story to tell and if it is unheard, then that might create a dent in the relationship which will get more irreparable in the time to come. So, among long list of parental skills, arguably the most important one is "Listening". A very famous saying by Dalai Lama, "When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new." emphasizes the importance of listening. Thus, listening can also be inculcate in parenting as this will help to know ones child better. This will help to build up the relationship where the child will feel himself /herself being valued or heard. Parents are always in a rush to teach or make the child do what they think is best but in this process they are knowingly/unknowingly crushing the value and prospect of the child which will hamper in a long run. The child will start to maintain distance from the one who doesn't value his/her perspective. Being parent doesn't mean that his/her way is the best and the only way, he/she has to bring a common ground- a way out which will not leave the child as a looser. A win-win situation will be the best way to handle any situation and for this "Listening" is very important. The more the parents listen, the more they will be able to know their children. The relationship between the parent and children should not be limited socially but it should be strengthen emotional too. Every parents should admit that they have been to this situation way back but the only change was the role. So, they should learn from their own lived experiences as a child who was unheard.
Thus, once the parents start to listen their kids and believe in their dreams then it will be the first step towards bridging the gap. Start being a facilitator, mentor, guide rather than just a mere bully. Yes, you heard correct, parents are bullying their way to their kids life and the result is obvious, frustration, dissatisfaction, conflict, harassment and many more.
So true.related to the daily lives of many relationships nowadays.
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